Tearful Thirty-Third :)

The Program.

The first kiss!!!

Walking out as husband and wife!!!

The bridal party!

Me and my super handsome date! 

The Bridesmaids with our friend Jessica

Chilling with Liz and Jessie at the Reception

Drinking some sparkling cider 

My contribution to the getaway car-Wes' g-mother's face was priceless when she read this lol!

This past weekend my two precious friends got married!!! Sussy and Wes tied the knot! If you know these two you know that their relationship has been such a long crazy story...it all started in 2003 when they met in a choir called The Evangelistic Singers, or EVS as we former members call it :) Wes and Sussy became great friends through ministering together and traveling all over the US as well as Jamaica and the Bahamas...Sussy started to fall in love with Wes way back then, but Wes just wanted to keep things at a friendship level...fast forward to December 2006...Wes tells me and a few others that literally OUT OF THE BLUE he has developed feelings for Sussy. We all are totally taken aback because he has never really had feelings for her like that. So January rolls around and Wes just tells her, I have feelings for you and they start dating! Roll forward to October 2007, with the help of me, and 3 others, Wes proposes to Sussy on a mountaintop here in TN! And now, as of Saturday they are married! This is such a short, uninvolved description of how God plans things out perfectly. He totally knows what he's doing and he does give us the desires of our hearts!!!

Food for today's thought: 

"Why is it that people get married? Because we need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet. What does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything…The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, All of it… all the time, every day. You’re saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed - because I will be your witness.” 

-Wife in the movie, "Shall We Dance?"

Tremendous Thirty-Second

WOW! So much to talk about...Last weekend my 20 year old cousin got married! I cannot believe it! I will never forget living together as kids, playing, swimming, laughing, talking and all of the perks of cousinhood... She was a beautiful

 bride and I am soo happy for her and her new hubby! 

This past weekend I gave my practice talk for VN and it was a little too short but I got a lot of great responses that really made me feel more confident in the whole thing... I am really excited about the weekend, I know that God is teaching me something already and its such a blessing.

Also this past weekend, my dear friend Sussy had her 

bachelorette party! She and I have been friends for about 4 years and we were roommates for 1. She is marrying one of my best friends, Wes, and I am sooo excited for both of them! I can't believe that they are getting married this weekend! I am heading out to North Carolina on Friday for the rehearsal dinner Friday night and the wedding Saturday! I am a bridesmaid so I have to get all ready for these things this week, gotta give myself a mani-pedi and figure out the shoes, jewelry and hair situation, you know, all the girly things :) I can't wait! 

Sussy and her cherry stem "v-card" haha!Me and Nikki

Sussy lookin gorgeous!!!

Some of the girls chillin at Mellow Mushroom 

Sussy takin one of several shots lol!

Desmond went home with me not this weekend but last and we had a blast! My family really liked him and he really liked them! It was just soo much fun! He and I have been having a wonderful time together and I am so thankful that I have him in my life!

Thats about all for now, love to you all!

Jill

Food for today's thought:

"What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a marriage relationship, because you will feel free to let your guard down -- that person has committed himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off." -Josh McDowell

Thankful Thirty-First

It has been about a month and a half since I broke up with Jonathan and I can tell you that I am truly happy...

For three years I had mentally pictured myself with him... I had tried to mold myself into what I felt he wanted (this is really my fault), I had tried to side-step the things in him that I knew would clash with my heart and desires, I made excuses for our relationship, I tried to assure myself that time would bring about change and that maturity would come and that commitment would be there if I just did this, or this or this...

Wow, I was drained. 

There was so much of myself that I had let go of in many ways because I felt I had to be a certain person every day (this is also really my fault) and I was soo tired, and unable to see my life without him attached. 

This past month has been a huge mental, emotional, spiritual roller-coaster filled with doubts, hopes, fears and a happiness I have never known. 

I am so grateful for the time I spent with Jonathan... Being with him taught me so much about life from a different perspective, how to fight fairly, how to be fully committed and how to love... His friendship is something I will forever cherish and there will be a part of him in my heart always but I know that my decision was the right one for me...

Over the past month I started talking to a friend of mine- we've been friends for a year now- we rekindled our friendship and out of the clear blue, an attraction formed... it has been such a whirlwind, but it feels soo right. I have peace and joy and I am being treated like a queen, which has actually been hard to accept but I am learning. His words and actions have healed a place in my heart that I don't think I even knew needed healing... He and I are dating "officially" but still taking things one day at a time. I thank God for putting him into my life and I am excited to see where it goes :)

I hope that your first day of fall is free and fun and that you all enjoy it!

All my love,

Jill

Food for today's thought:

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." 

-Marcel Proust

Thought-filled Thirtieth

Much is going on in my mind right now... decisions and hopes and concerns... not really wanting to share right now but would appreciate your prayers.

Due to the fact that gas is currently 4.99 a gallon, I have literally spent the past 3 days at home just saving my gas that I filled up last week when it was the normal 3.49ish so I have been just about crazy, sitting at home so today I went to a friends house just to hang out and it was really nice :)

Not much is going on with me right now, I am just working on finding a job and working on my classwork.

So, hope everything is going well with all of you out there around the world :)

Food for today's thought: 

"No one knows exactly where thought comes from, but it can be said that thought comes from the same place as whatever it is that beats our heart... it comes from being alive."

-Richard Carlson

The Twenty-Ninth

...ing

Savoring memories like the sand on the shore

Holding your breath til they slip back into darkness.

Wishing your mind could understand all that you cannot.

Hoping the voice of reason comes not from within

Trusting the One who cannot be seen, trying desperately so.

Wandering thoughts and tears trace against the canvas of your life, waiting to be portrayed.

Dying to know the secrets that are all around, waiting patiently for the One to reveal them.

Failing and falling again and again

Getting up and doing it all over.

Knowing He loves you is just not enough, it's so hard to completely trust.

Daring yourself to simply obey, struggling with your own flesh.

Dying to yourself day after day and you're worn down to nothing.

Anything would be better than the nothing you feel, the incompetence of your self.

Trying to be the best you can

  

Putting up walls to knock yourself down before you can fall.

Aching to feel secure and loved, to trust, to fly, to love completely...

I wrote this poem about a year and a half ago to and about God...it just truly describes so much of who I was at that time and who I am still becoming... I am still learning to trust and to let myself fall, learning to live through failure and learning to be secure and loved in the One who gave it all to me...

Food for today's thought:

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

Truthful Twenty-Eighth

Let it go for 2008
By: T. D. Jakes



There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can't make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.

It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know whatever God means for me to have
He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to ...LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ....
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...
LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2008 !!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then
LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

Terrific Twenty-Seventh

Jesus is soo awesome. 

I am just truly happy and so excited about the future, I feel complete in God, I feel like my decisions are justified and just right...

I can't wait to see what else He has in store for my life.

I am enrolled in my independent study class and I am working on it right now...my car is not yet fixed but should be in a few days so I will be able to get another job soon (say a prayer!)

I just love all of you out there in bloggerville.

Much love~

Jill

Double food for today's thought: 

"There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the work, it's the beginning of a new life."

 -Unknown

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Trip twenty-sixth

Amanda and I Christmas 2006

I am currently in Richmond, Virginia at one of my best friend's Amanda's house! I haven't gotten to see her in soo long and it is so nice to get away and see friends and have fun :) I'm sure I will update later on with more updates! 

L O V E

J.

Food for today's thought: 

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page." -St. Augustine

True Twenthy-Fifth

You

By: Jill Hammond

Your scent.
Your Smile.
That look, in your eye.

Your secret.
Your sigh.
Those thoughts, in your mind.

Knowing you more than myself.

The in's.
The out's.
The laugh's, the cries.

Prayer's and kisses.
Ideas and pain.
The years have flown and crept by.

Your presence.
Your heart.
Those moments we shared.

Your faith.
Your insecurities.
Learning love can't always be easy.

The trying and failing.
The commitment and flaws.
I've learned more than I knew.

The pleasing.
The trying.
It was all for the best.

There can be no regrets.

Food for today's thought:
"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated." -Maya Angelou

Thrilling Twenty-Fourth *UPDATE*

So, tonight Jonathan calls and asks if I want to go to dinner, I told him I couldn't afford it so he asks if I want to go to Starbucks, I say, OK. So we go and we talk for a bit and things are ok and then the convo heads toward the breakup and things start to get rough... Basically he doesn't see us ever getting back together as of right now, he says he loves me enough to let me go, although I find that hard to understand considering he didn't love me enough to LOVE ME while we were together, he didn't fight for the relationship.

I think he is somewhat relieved that its over...but he says he does love me, but since he has no answer from God, then he wants to let me go.

So, he told me that he wants to be friends, not like we were but just like call every now and then etc...I told him that I can't do it. I love him too much and it hurts too badly. I don't think he can possibly love me the way I love him otherwise he couldn't just be my friend...

Anyway we ended our friendship tonight, well, as

he says I ended it because he says he doesn't want us to not be friends. I wish we could be but right now it is impossible. I love him soo very much that I can't ever move on and still have him near me.

Well, I came home crying my eyes out after that whole ordeal and my sweet roomies were there to cheer me up... thats when I noticed my split-ends...they were really really bad, so I ask Courtney to trim my hair, and then I say, No lets hack it!!! So, we cut off about 7-8 inches! Jonathan always told me he LOVED my hair and begged me not to cut it, well screw that!!!

What do you think??? I LOVE IT! I feel like a 3 year weight was lifted off my shoulders, literally!!! I think I may go get it professionally trimmed today and get a little more angular with it :)

"All women need to have a breakup haircut. Many women swear by this almost as a rite of passage. Logically, it's the worst thing you can do after a breakup. You're irrational, you're emotional, you're everything you shouldn't be when you sit on that swivel chair and ask the stylist to chop off your locks. But what you get out of this simple act of a haircut is indescribable. It's almost a sense of liberation. Like the emancipation of that part of your life. You're chopping off a part of you. You're making a change. You're ready to start anew. The old you is being swept up by the bottom-of-the-food-chain intern at the hair salon and thrown in the garbage bin.

Gone.

For good.

All women need a breakup haircut." -Random girl on Blogger.

SO after I posted this I decided to go get another hair cut, and here it is... I am not in love with it, they cut the long angles I wanted in the front, and so I'm really disappointed in it, but my best friend is a hairdresser an is coming in a few days to stay with me and I am going to have her fix it :)
I